I’m here!
I know I’ve been lacking in “real” blog posts – I promise, I will be back tomorrow with more goals and commentary on my life!
For right now, I want to say that my grandfather is being buried tomorrow morning. I was not close to him. I last saw him four years ago, and we spoke on the phone maybe one year ago. It’s not that I didn’t love him, or had issues with him – it’s just that for most of my life, he has been incoherent and not all here on this earth. So his recent passing, while sad, has provided my family with some relief. I truly hope (and believe) he is in a better place – he was probably suffering a lot in the end.
But this event in my life has got me thinking about how to *live* my life. I’ve been working on saying exactly what I think to people. This gets me in trouble. But I’d much rather be honest and get things out in the open. I’ve also been working on recognizing the difference between the truly important things. That *urgent* phone call or email or deadline really doesn’t matter in the end, does it? I don’t think I will be on my deathbed (hopefully many, many, many years from now!) and saying -
“I never got back to Mr. So-And-So that day … and I should have emailed her … and I definitely should NOT have moved that meeting!”
I think I will be contemplating on my family and friends, and focusing on what will be waiting for me as I move on out of this life.
My one boss at the restaurant I worked at in college gave me the best advice, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. I was working as a hostess, and would just flip out over the smallest of details. One day, he grabbed my shoulders and made me look him in the eye.
“Is anyone going to die because of you?” he asked urgently.
“What?” I was startled.
“Is someone going to die if they don’t get seated right away?”
“I … well, I guess not …”
“Exactly. The absolute worst that is going to happen is that they will be upset and choose to leave. But this is not a life-or-death job. In the grand scheme of things? This is nothing.” He gestured to the cook behind the open counter. “See him? His job means life-or-death. He cooks bad food, people could become very sick.”
Ever since then, I’ve asked myself, “Is this a life-or-death situation?”
If it’s not, then I move on.
I’m just in a very contemplative mood right now, mostly because I have realized that there are a lot of things I want to do in life, but I have pretty much done nothing to try to achieve those goals. I think the death of someone close to you makes you step back and look at your own life, which is a good thing. And I think I truly want to start making some changes in my life.
Anyway. If you’ve read this far, I’m sorry you’ve had to put up with my incoherent ramblings. But, just for you, good night.
Just another beautiful fall day
If I had to pick one perfect day out of 2009, I’m sure this would be it. The day started off a tad chilly and gloomy, with fog and mist and gray skies. Soon, the sunlight burned that all away and what was left was a refreshing fall day.
I spent the day in and out of the house – this afternoon, I watched Memoirs of a Geisha. I just read the novel about two months ago, and instantly fell in love – so I felt extremely lucky when I saw the 2005 movie adaptation in with the discounted movies at Walmart! Of course, the book was definitely better (isn’t it usually that way?), but the movie was very good.
I also took a short catnap this afternoon, and then headed to the porch with some iced tea, a cold apple to snack on and a stack of magazines (25 cents each at the local library! – some were old copies, but I found two magazines that I *almost* paid full price for earlier on in the store. Lucky!).
Other than the apple, though, today has been junk food city! I bought a bag of jalapeno chips yesterday, and have been snacking on those pretty much constantly since! I’ve also been sneaking in leftover hashbrown casserole … it is SO good (yet so bad and unhealthy, I know) …
I’m not sure what my evening is going to look like! On one hand, a bunch of my friends are meeting up for drinks and dancing, but on the other hand I’m cuddling with two very sweet doggies right now and just had a really relaxing bubble bath … I’m thinking I’m going to lean toward staying in tonight. 
