Christmas Wrap Up
Get it? “Wrap up”?
So, it’s Friday. I had the entire week off of work. My apartment is still a mess, and I still feel as though nothing has been accomplished. I didn’t read the book I wanted to read. I didn’t work out as often as I had planned.
I did manage to successfully complete my online course. The final exam was difficult, not because of the material but because the teacher didn’t put together her lessons in any sort of coherent structure. So when she asked the question “What is marketing?”, there were two different answers that she gave in the first lesson … and those two answers were both options (it was a multiple choice test.) Whatever. I passed (with flying colors!)
Christmas was small, but it was fun. Mom baked up delicious goodies, as always. I got a new microwave along with some trinkets, including a print of a painting that I absolutely LOVE. (The artist mostly does animals, and is known for his dog paintings. The print I got is of a schnauzer.) It was small and fun, like it’s always been.
For the rest of the weekend … yeah, I don’t know. I am in perpetual lazy mode. I am going shopping with my mom tomorrow. And my goal is to clean and pick up all the Christmas decorations over the weekend. And then it’s back to work … fun times! Bring it on, 2009!
Merry Christmas!
Hey guys – just checking in to say that I will be back on Friday. Until then, have a great holiday!
Restoring Myself
Without going all “Oprah” on everyone, I have felt like my life has been way out of balance lately. I’ve always been a person of excess – with me, it’s all or nothing. For quite some time in ‘07 and the better part of this year, it’s been … well, everything. I can’t just eat some of the cheesecake … I have to eat all of it. I can’t just drink one glass of wine … I need to drink the bottle. I can’t just buy a $15 purse … I’ll only be happy once the designer bag is in my hands. If someone teases me, I take it as an insult and end up in the bathroom, bawling my eyes out.
This life of excess has led me to have a series of anxiety attacks, beginning last March and escalating to several trips to the doctor and a scary excursion to the emergency room this past fall. Ever since then, I’ve been examining my life and seeing that I’ve been developing unhealthy patterns that are ruining not only my emotional wellbeing but my physical health as well.
A lot of this has to do with feelings of abandonment I’ve had and continue to have. Without going into too much detail, my mom has been very sick for quite some time … and most of my friends bailed, most noticeably my “best” friend. The anger I still have for her, no matter how much I’ve tried to forgive and heal that wound, is red hot, and I am no longer speaking to her. (Although some of that is her choice, too.)
Once I realized that I still feel so alone, I’ve been able to work on restoring balance to my life. In fact, many of my goals for 2009 involve trying new things and taking some time for myself – something that may sound funny for someone who lives alone to do. I shouldn’t have this problem, should I? I mean … I’m young. I do have a small group of loyal friends. I don’t have much in the way of family, but my parents are fiercely supportive and loving. I have a great job. But somehow I lost myself in the midst of all that, and I suspect it started my sophomore year of college, when I was in a very unhealthy unrelationship, and escalated from there.
I want to be here at this time next year, looking back with no regrets. I think I did grow a lot in ‘08, but I’m ready for something more.
Home for the Holidays
When people ask me what I want for this Christmas, I can’t think of anything material. I mean, I would like a new iPod … a new phone … gift cards. But I realized this weekend that I’ll never be able to get what I really want.
I remember that, as a young girl, I could look out into our backyard and see nothing but trees. It was only about half a mile, but to my eyes, it stretched for acres and acres, giving me room to run and explore. This morning, as I looked out of our kitchen window, I found that I could see several of the new houses that have been built over the past couple of years. For Christmas, I want to look out that kitchen window and see nothing but trees that stretch for miles and miles.
Ever since my mom has been sick, her beautiful cursive writing has been less than perfect. It’s still beautiful by typical standards, but I miss the days when I would prop myself up on the couch and watch her write out the bills. For Christmas, I’d like to sit next to her and watch her write … smoothly and elegantly like before.
Every holiday has always been just me and my parents. I don’t have that closely knit, large family that gathers every year. I don’t think I ever will. I want a large, family holiday just once. No one fighting or upset or emotional. Just a happy, Hallmark-y family. Don’t get me wrong – I love the small holidays with Mom and Dad. I understand this is one of those “The grass is always greener …” wishes. But it’s still something I’d like to experience just once.
I don’t think I will ever get these things I really want for Christmas, especially not my first two wishes. I don’t know if there’s a God, and if there is, I doubt He reads blogs. But if there was such a thing as having three Christmas wishes, those would be mine.
Real Housewives Brings In Real Ratings
“She goes, ‘What’s two plus two?’ … I said, ‘Four.’ She goes, ‘How do you spell cat?’ … I said, ‘K-A-T.’”
~ Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta
It’s been officially confirmed … Bravo has ordered a second season of the new hit series “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” It’s going to be interesting to see how the second season is handled … the cat is out of the bag that the five women featured on the show absolutely HATE each other. One of the five, Kim, has been exposed by numerous blogs as being the mistress of a very prominent, very married man, while ex-best friend NeNe was recently evicted from her house. And Lisa, initially portrayed as the successful businesswoman, apparently works so hard not because she’s a workaholic, but because she declared bankruptcy a year or so ago. There’s also an issue about children from a previous marriage, and questions as to why she doesn’t have custody.
The popularity of the show in its first season sealed its fate with Bravo, and it’s pretty much guaranteed that at least the first episode of the second season will garner the highest ratings ever. For whatever reason, those five “ladies” (I use that term very loosely) have inspired almost a cult following of devotees, particularly NeNe. And as the show has inspired much water cooler talk, even weeks after the season finale, so there will be several new curious viewers. The ratings will be as golden as Kim’s hair is tarnished.
I can’t help myself … on one hand, I loathe these shows. On the other hand, I loathe myself because I absolutely have to watch. I could care less about those women. They are pathetic and shallow. They are what the girls on MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen” grow up to become … and it ain’t pretty. That lifestyle is suitable for some – hey, I love a good designer bag as much as the next girl – but it seems at best insensitive and at worst idiotic to make icons out of women who are basically well-paid prostitutes. (Let’s call a cow a cow, OK?)
But it’s the escapism that is captivating. It’s nice to sit down and get lost in a world of shopping, fine dining, and nightly parties. Where you can write a check for a nearly $70,000 vehicle or a $10,000 pink diamond bracelet. Where no one has a 9 – 5 job and personal chefs.
With all that being said, there’s only one thing left to say … when the second season of “Real Housewives” premieres, I’ll be the one hosting the viewing party. Team NeNe, y’all! (And there’s some of that authentic Southern charm for everyone.)
